Get all 4 Bronwen Exter releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Never Invited You (EP), Snakeskin, There, Junkyard, and Elevator Ride.
1. |
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Falling forward, falling back
I can’t make sense of that--
Daylight is all we have to spend,
it’s how it is now.
Somehow our parents’ poverty was fleeting
and noble--
We slept in drawers and wore
our brothers’ hand me downs
colors washed out.
Here in November, it’s getting colder
We shake our heads--already thinking
how too-fast-older the baby gets.
Somehow our parents’ poverty was fleeting
and noble--
We slept in drawers and wore
our brothers’ hand me downs
colors washed out.
Strangely troubled and weary week
we’re in the dark but we’re not asleep
I am hearing music in dead leaves
Disconnected, trying to make these ends meet--
Somehow our parents’ poverty was fleeting
and noble--
We slept in drawers and wore
our brothers’ hand me downs
colors washed out.
I dreamed of a monstrous early spring
allium looming out at me
my pillow was wet where I had cried
in our home, so lucky and tight.
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2. |
Shapeshifter
03:27
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All these words
still some things
are hard to name.
If it’s true
it should be easy
to explain.
“What was that you said--” she said
Oh man, I let the hatchet
tumble out of my head.
I was a little drunk and shapeshifting, and you
suddenly seemed like my enemy--
solids, shadows bloom and blur,
there’s no distance between
my life and yours.
We build this story
it’s our life.
We live it how we live it and we do.
You wanted me to listen and I’m your wife--
I wanted to play you the song in my head
at full volume.
I was a little drunk and shapeshifting, and you
suddenly seemed like my enemy--
solids, shadows bloom and blur,
there’s no distance between
my life and yours...
Won’t you listen to the message I sent?
Won’t you listen to the message I sent?
Won’t you listen--I’m not trying to win the argument.
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3. |
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Twice now I’ve opened my front door
and looked down
a snakeskin, there.
Where is it, why does it let what’s gone go for the record?
Wish I could shed a skin to show you
to show you how I grew--
Here it is, paper thin: the creature that you knew.
Four in the morning, the crabapples glow
in their dropping-down shine off the moon
I’d woken from dreaming I’d slipped from a noose
to the floor, started to run.
Wish I could shed a skin to show you
to show you how I grew--
Here it is, paper thin: the creature that you knew.
No longer flung, I have climbed rung by rung
to arrive here, home.
Poppyseed cake batter, memory of years ago, Paris
and memories to come--
Wish I could shed a skin to show you
to show you how I grew--
Here it is, paper thin: the creature that you knew.
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4. |
In My Room
04:58
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All afternoon I have
thought of this corner
away from the glare of the fight
Walking downtown there is
glancing through windows
here I am whole, inside.
I’m not talking about hiding,
I am not talking about hiding,
I’m trying to find the tender shots
of loving it all so much again, I’m trying.
Here in my room I am
thinking of faraway places
for reasons I can clearly describe--
we could go there,
we could go anywhere.
Snow is in bloom on all the
flowering branches
at twilight, 8 o’clock, tonight
not just this weather making us all antsy--
So much out there, this need to do right.
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5. |
Something Fierce
05:04
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My mind doesn’t know where to land
and it’s been this way for days on end
I’m on a loop over here and in figure eights over there--
My, oh my, I love you so
My, my, it’s all I know
My thoughts are a scatter of dandelion-blows
there’s nothing the matter, watch em drift as they go--
I’m blown away over here and I’m blown apart over there--
My, oh my, I love you so
My, my, it’s all I know
We are blinking wide into the light
I’m saying to myself hello and goodbye
Wise women whisper in our ears:
Welcome in to something fierce, something fierce.
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6. |
The Chase
03:08
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You slip into my blind spot and stay
invisible next to me, I maintain my speed.
You missed your exit again
cause you get off on the chase
I love your directionlessness, I love your face--
The smoke on your breath,
The message you left,
Your nonsense talk,
The lines you walk,
The holes in your heart,
Your closely held cards--
I hope you’re closer than you appear
in my rearview mirror
I love your directionlessness--
don’t disappear.
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7. |
Part of Me is Mine
04:47
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I dreamed I was in one of those old game shows
Where you grab all you can in a certain time
and I was grabbing for my life.
Part of what’s happening now is I don’t know
how this will unfold--
which part of me is mine.
I can’t drop gracefully into the dark
no-one around
It isn’t loud enough
at the bottom of the sound
I shift and shiver with all the other birds
we drift in the weather
in the world.
I fly in dreams because it’s faster than walking
and cause I can.
Part of what’s happening now is I look up less
afraid of catching air.
I can’t drop gracefully into the dark
no-one around
It isn’t loud enough
at the bottom of the sound--
I don’t know how to go on
as several selves
now I’ve become
someone’s everything
I am the song in my head
that gets me through
the day-days, can I be that
can I still be?
I shift and shiver with all the other birds
we drift in the weather
in the world.
You think I’m here but
I am scattered over there
I’m kind of everywhere.
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8. |
Great Northern Loon
04:29
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Smooth stones, grays and greens
speckled feathers as it shoots beneath
I’m lying here in the darkness
dying to hear the sound.
Black water, hundreds of feet
black air, easy to see
(bar full of talk about nothing--
beneath it all I can sometimes hear the sound).
The wildness of the call as it comes through the wind
a loon, a lantern, a memory of finding.
Slip of silver, dive me down deep
break the water, the stars are loud and free
I want my call to wake you from your sleep
I want you to hear--
The wildness of the call as it comes through the wind
a loon, a lantern, a memory of finding.
Dig my fingers in
the ground, scratch
my way down
I will crawl
down to the creek
melting snow has
made it deep
In this dream I can breathe, I can hear and I can see
In this dream I can breathe, I can hear and I can see
In this dream I can breathe, I can hear and I can see.
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9. |
So Far West
04:03
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I hate to fly
tin can in the air
don’t need a reminder
of how small we are
and how much I care.
Never been so far west
family out there
will they care
about the love I live--
will they ask about her?
Thank you is all there is to say
I’m thankful for what I’ve seen.
In ways I have made my life small
concentrated dreams.
Needle I can’t thread
I just can’t sleep--
they’re so far away--
disorienting,
so small,
so everything.
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10. |
Wildness
04:20
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Turns out we have
wildness in us
I smelled my blood on you
for days.
I am returning
to my senses
what’s left, within
your mutterings and sighs.
You are your own kid
your own--
no father, no Mussolini.
and it’s been
such a long, cold winter
nobody but us to listen to me.
We stayed inside
we did it right, this rite--
no more childless childishness.
Something precious I forgot, turns out
we have wildness
something precious I forgot, turns out
we have wildness
turns out
we have wildness.
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